Checking in…

I think I’m just sitting down right now and posting because I feel full of thoughts that need an outlet.  This could be dangerous. 🙂

It’s been a hard week.  Not because any one thing has crumbled around us or because there’s been anything life changing happen, I’m just drained.  I do realize there are SO many life altering, mind blowing, difficult, unfair, unjust, (and so on, and so on) things going on in people’s lives that seriously are WAY more difficult than anything I’m experiencing here on Calle Colan (my street…haha…which is pronounced “COE-LAWN”…not like “colon” in english…just so you know…hah!) in Lima, Peru…but…I still feel in need of my God to sort of just carry me for a bit.  Through the tiredness, through the impatience with my kids, through the moments when Justin and I don’t see eye to eye, and through the day in and day out activity that we are living in.  I need God, and I love that I can say that and be aware of it even when I’m not experiencing great tragedy…but just a long week.

One thing that has made the week a bit more difficult has been that Cailyn has had about 4 days of really draining behavior that has in turn caused me to feel so much less patient.  It’s like it’s hit me like a ton of bricks.  I remember the days when e v e r y . s i n g l e . d a y was a battle.  A fit.  Full of screaming and an endless amount of calming down times in her bed.  Soap in her mouth for being outright disrespectul, and days on end of feeling like there was no breather from her insane strong-willed-ness.  God has most definitely brought us from the depths of that in the last 6-9 months, but I have seen that same “old” Cailyn in these last 3-4 days.  I am remembering tonight how absolutely drained I felt for months on end when we were in the middle of that valley.  I feel like that tonight on some level, and yet there is something different.  I feel like now I can put my finger on it, where as before I was too low emotionally to either figure it out or recognize it.  My reality now is that I am in the Word daily.  Even the days that I do not sit down to my personal Bible study that might be 30 minutes to an hour long, I at least am reminded of our weekly Scripture when I review and work on memorizing it with the kids in the morning at breakfast.  I am better equipped now.

Our past few days have been really busy.  I’ve had the pleasure of hosting the families of Taylor Green and Jenny Durham, 2 of our AFC interns, for dinner this week.  A HUGE blessing was that both families basically picked up and cleaned all of our dishes when we were done.  Both nights I came downstairs from laying the kids down to bed to find a clean kitchen.  They will never know how much that meant to me!  We also had the pleasure of eating dinner with our teammates and Kyle Glaeser’s family (another one of our great AFC interns) last night.  It was a great evening, and what made it even better is that nearly all of us got to drop our kids off at a “babysitting fundraiser night” at the International Christian School here in Lima!  Thanks to the Senior class there, we were kid free last night at dinner!

Come to think of it, we’ve had something to do every night this past week.  Monday night I hit up my fave Gold’s gym class at 5:30pm with Steph.  It’s intense folks.  The Fletcher kids had their combined 4th and 6th birthday party on Tuesday night, so that was fun.  We enjoyed dinner and a game night with some teammates Wednesday night, and then began the 3 nights of dinner with the Interns’ families.  To top it all off, I spent a couple of hours today preparing to teach our women’s Bible Study, and then I went straight from that into talking in spanish to all of them for 2 hours.  That’s a lot on the old brain.  It’s been a long week…like I said.  Sometimes it’s hard to go from the busy week into a busy weekend, because it all just starts up again on Sunday with ministry responsibilities.  So is our life, I guess.  Blessed, but busy.

To top it all off, our family is sort of still figuring out our groove now that Yenny doesn’t work for us anymore.  I will say that while I’ve been more tired and pretty much on my feet all day long making sure the house isn’t a wreck, I feel extremely secure in God’s leading to take on these responsibilities without Yenny (not that Yenny was my problem…we still love her!).  We’ve had a bit more of this going on…

and our living room has suffered a bit…(Yenny always folded clothes in the laundry room outside and took them straight to our drawers…but when you’re me and have like 5 loads to fold at once, things happen a bit differently…haha)

Anyway…God is blessing us as we follow his leading and desire for our family…even amidst a bit of chaos.

I just finished a Bible Studay called “Discerning the Voice of God” by Priscilla Shirer (well, technically I only finished the last 3 weeks due to coming in on the middle of the study when we returned here in Jan.).  But, I intend to do the first 3 weeks even still.  OH.MY.GOODNESS.  This study is absolutely amazing.  It has put my ability to recognize and obey God’s leading in my life in check, and I feel such a new and powerful presence of God’s voice in my life.  I am now focusing more on immediate obedience and confidence in the peace of God’s will for me than I have before.  This could not have been a better way to start my first couple of months back here in Peru.  GO AND BUY THIS STUDY!  I BEG you!  You will be changed!  Oh, and invite a friend to do it with you.

So, that sums it up I guess.  Justin might be going to the jungle for 4 (or so) days either tomorrow or Monday to visit Luis, our guard’s, family with him.  His grandfather is dying, and he doesn’t have enough money to buy a bus ticket back home.  Our team is hoping to help him get back in time to say goodbye.

OH…and I CANNOT forget to mention…HANNAH IS COMING TO VISIT!!!!!!!  I AM SUPER PUMPED!  There is just something about having your family here to visit that gives you a boost.  I would like to give a huge shout out to her amazing husband, Jason.  He suggested she come and visit over her spring break in April (he unfortunately cannot come due to school and work), and it is such a wonderful thing to me that he would honor us in that way.  Thanks, Jason!

Guess I’m done spilling my thoughts.


4 responses to “Checking in…

  1. GIrl. You know I love to keep it real. Thanks for doing so on your blog tonight (and always)! Honestly, I just stand in awe of you for the life you live– missionary, wife, mother, daughter, friend– you’ve always been such an example. Praying His grace for every moment. You’re so important to Him. Love you, friend!

  2. Alison,
    I can’t wait to check out the study you mentioned. I’ve heard great things about it from others. Praying for God’s grace to pour into your home in fresh and renewing ways this week. He delights in being your strength and the One to help you make it through those challenging days. What a blessing to be able to receive from Him! Thanks for sharing what’s on your heart. Give Hannah a hug for me!
    Blessings on you both!

  3. Alison, I love your outpouring of thoughts. So nice to know that we all struggle with the same day to day things and all still need our God every day. I think you’re doing a great job juggling it all!
    BTW, LOVE the picture with Cailyn cleaning in what looks like a princess dress! Cracked me up!
    Thanks for sharing!
    : ) Kara

  4. You are doing a great job and I see you walking close with the Lord. He is Your Shepherd and I hear you allowing Him to close the gap between your smallness and His greatness, your sin and his holiness and your weakness and His power. I know He will provide for you as Justin is in the jungle. I praise God in your life because of His constant care.
    Isaiah 54:5
    “For your Maker is your husband –
    the Lord Almighty is his name-
    the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.”
    PS…just love those LEFT hands cleaning with all their might!! They are growing so fast. Peace.

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